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Funny jokes for a laugh.


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#201 DeathMachine17

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Posted 18 July 2016 - 08:30 AM

Why did the chicken cross the road with a bible?







Because it was going to Churches....
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YOU WILL BE DIE

#202 hastag

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Posted 23 July 2016 - 12:45 PM

Dad: Don't trust atoms, son.

Son: Why not?

Dad: Because they make up everything.

/

Detective: Run this DNA sample through the database.

Doctor: Allright

*doctor does things on his computer*

Doctor: Sir, i found a match!

*doctor pulls out a match*

/

A disabled woman once said

My husband is always pushing me around, and talking behind my back.

/

*cop pulls over a guy*

Cop: You were going fast

Guy: I was just trying to keep up with traffic

Cop: There isn't any

Guy: I know! That's how far behind i am!

/

A matryoshka walks up to a movie ticket selling booth and asks for one ticket. The salesman responds with "one ticket....really?"

/

A man walks into a air and space museum. There was nothing there.

 

 

Alright i'm all out of jokes that are not as dark as my soul, so i'm gonna end this post here.


Edited by hastag, 23 July 2016 - 12:46 PM.

Chris Hansen is my personal bodyguard

#203 Snake999

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Posted 24 July 2016 - 06:20 AM


Yes, money cannot buy you happiness, but I’d still feel a lot more comfortable crying in a new BMW than on a bike.
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#204 sniper_101

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Posted 24 July 2016 - 08:28 PM

so a robber broke into my house last night.....he started searching for money, so i woke up and sreached with him.

Edited by sniper_101, 24 July 2016 - 08:31 PM.


#205 DeathMachine17

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Posted 24 July 2016 - 10:56 PM

2 men walked into a bar




The third one ducked
YOU WILL BE DIE

#206 rcmppolice

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Posted 25 July 2016 - 12:38 AM

when people call you a nerd you just say this "No im not a nerd i just dont wanna work with you in mcdonalds"


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Let the Royal Canadian Mounted Police do the work...........

#207 Edelstahl99

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Posted 25 July 2016 - 12:01 PM

I became an engineer, to learn how my body works.
<p>Killing tanks since 15AHTC Desire HD Android 2.2 after this device: Motorola Moto G 2013 with CyanogenMod 14.1 and root (nightly version of cm14.1) (Android 7.1 based) after this: iPhone 5s 16gb

#208 K-2

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Posted 25 July 2016 - 10:32 PM

Hey bros, do you know this? One lemon has much vitamin c as there is in one lemon!

#209 TheTigerTank

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Posted 29 July 2016 - 11:51 AM

I heard this joke from a pastor. It's long, and there are things missing from it, but it's still funny,

There was a farmer who had a barn with a pig and a cow. One night there was a knock at the door. The farmer opened the door and standing there was a Rabbi, a Hindu holy man, and a lawyer. They asked if the farmer had a place for them to sleep. The farmer said "I only have room for two of you. One of you will have to sleep in the barn." The Rabbi said, "I'll sleep in the barn." So the Rabbi went to the barn and the farmer and his guests entered the house.

One hour later, there was a knock at the door. The farmer opened it and there was the Rabbi. He said, "I can't sleep in the barn because there is a pig in there. So the Hindu holy man said, "I'll sleep in the barn." So the holy man went to the barn and the Rabbi entered the house.

Another hour, and another knock. The farmer opened the door and the holy man was there. He said, "I can't sleep in the barn because there is a cow in there." So the lawyer said, "Alright, I'll sleep in the barn." So the lawyer went to the barn and the holy man entered the house.

An hour later, there was a final knock at the door. The farmer opened it, and there was the pig and the cow.

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Edited by TheTigerTank, 29 July 2016 - 11:58 AM.

"Character is like a tree and reputation its shadow. The shadow is what we think it is; the tree is the real thing." -Abraham Lincoln
"Victorious warriors win first and then go to war, while defeated warriors go to war first and then seek to win." -Sun Tzu
"You must show no mercy, nor have any belief whatsoever in how others judge you, for your greatness will silence them all." -Warrior

#210 Flamethrower

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Posted 29 July 2016 - 01:11 PM

This jokes are quite cringy. Feeling very awful for laughing at them
They see me burning

#211 blackgale

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Posted 29 July 2016 - 01:19 PM

This jokes are quite cringy. Feeling very awful for laughing at them

Yeah...

Black Gale ( Faiz Sayyed )


#212 Beowulf

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Posted 18 January 2017 - 11:26 AM

I’m just a kid who’s four 
Each day I snort some more 
I love cocaine, I’m Caillou 

So many drugs to do 
From cannabis to glue 
I’ll do them all cause I’m Caillou 

My world is turning upside down 
My mommy and daddy are wearing a frown 

Overdosing is not so tough 
crap! I just injected too much! 
I’m gonna die, I’m Caillou 

Caillou, Caillou 
I’m Cai- *gasp* 

Caillou’s Dad: Thank God he’s dead. 

Caillou’s Mom: It’s amazing what can happen when I forget to take the pill.


lol i think i just ruined 50 childhoods ;)



#213 rcmppolice

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Posted 18 January 2017 - 08:07 PM

A car slows down at a stop sign and keeps driving. A cop sees him and pulls him over.

The cop asks, "Why didn't you stop?"

The man says, "I slowed down."

The cop pulls out his nightstick and starts beating him. "Now," the cop says, "do you want me to stop or slow down?"

*cop picks for him* *resume beating* after awhile...*got donuts?*


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Let the Royal Canadian Mounted Police do the work...........

#214 randy12345

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Posted 19 January 2017 - 08:04 AM

I’m just a kid who’s four 
Each day I snort some more 
I love cocaine, I’m Caillou 

So many drugs to do 
From cannabis to glue 
I’ll do them all cause I’m Caillou 

My world is turning upside down 
My mommy and daddy are wearing a frown 

Overdosing is not so tough 
crap! I just injected too much! 
I’m gonna die, I’m Caillou 

Caillou, Caillou 
I’m Cai- *gasp* 

Caillou’s Dad: Thank God he’s dead. 

Caillou’s Mom: It’s amazing what can happen when I forget to take the pill.


lol i think i just ruined 50 childhoods ;)

Man, you're bad at copy and pasting...lol


Bow down to my dank memes.





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